Paving a New Road’s Weblog
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Holding On…

What am I doing that keeps him holding on? Anything?

It sure feels like it, otherwise he would have let go by now, surely. Wouldn’t he have?

We’ve been divorced for many years, double digits! Plus it took a few years for the divorce to actually become final… I’m not talking about someone that I just broke up with yesterday.

But he stays engaged. I say him, not me. I don’t talk to him, I don’t get close enough to him when we happen to be at the same place. And thats not often, The last time we were at a school function together, must have been a sports event, maybe a year ago. I go to them all, I may have missed 5 in 5 years. He’s made it to maybe 15 in that time. We do not go in each others homes. We used to, when I was trying to be friends, but when I learned that didn’t work, and alls he was doing was trying to get me back, that stopped. That leaves court. A few times in the last year I’ve seen him. I get pysically sick when I see him. Seriously. I need to let go and not see him as anything but the other person in the room.

He has plenty of time to figure out how to antaganize me and I let him do it. All my fault.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt, ‘This Is My Story,’ 1937

I have the fortitude to allow, or NOT….. this manipulation in my life. I choose not.

(this was in my drafts folder, I thought I’d posted it… oops)


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