Paving a New Road’s Weblog
Just another weblog

Long Distance Dating

Rachel posted a question from one of her readers about a single mom dating long distance, and what to tell a guy who had written to her.

This prompted me to write about my long distance dating adventure.

On a dark and dreary day two strangers bumped into each other in a chatroom. During their first chat, they didn’t exchange emails or phone numbers, they just chatted. The following week, they both logged in again, this time looking only for each other. This time they exchanged email addresses, not phone numbers, yet. Emails became their mode of communication as they got to know each other. At least for the next month, until they exchanged phone numbers.

The day they spoke on the phone for the first time, they knew they had to meet. They planned their meeting for another couple months out, so they could get to know each other better. This meeting took place in a city neither of them lived in, neutral ground. Those 4 days were wonderful. The time spent together was beyond her expectations. He must have agreed since he was calling her his girlfriend, and this made her very happy!

Leaving him did not make her so happy, but she had to get back to her day-to-day life. By the time she got home, he had left a message to say he could not wait to see her again, and soon. This went on for a couple years, one of them traveling to see the other every 4 – 6 weeks.

After a couple years they decided it wasn’t what they wanted anymore. So he moved to be with her! In the time they were together they never really had a fight, they were much more into finding peace. But… there always has to be a but…. he had family things he needed (or chose) to take care of and moved back to where he’d come from.

What he had to deal with, she supported his decision 100% and would have done the same thing for her family.

They kept in touch for a few months, since they’d promised to always be friends. They talked about his new relationship. Then the calls and emails stopped. She thinks he may have gotten married. Him having support is a wonderful thing. Her not being a 3rd wheel, or feeling like “the other woman” is also a wonderful thing. She wishes him well.

Moral of the story:
have a credit card, or a really good job, with lots of vacation time
have a great phone plan
have flexibility in your schedule
enjoy adventure
have an open heart

Would I do it again? With the right person, sure. Am I looking for someone to get back into a long distance relationship with? No, not really. I’d like to find someone closer to home, my home that is.


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