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When Fear is Replaced by Fear

or why I’ve started working out again.                                                                                                                                                                                                                   I used to work out 6 times a week, sometimes 7, for about 90 minutes a day. Maybe I was addicted.  Does it matter? It was a healthy addiction…. possibly. I ate well, took care of myself…. I was a size 6….. I loved to do yoga, pilates, spinning…. weights… cardio…. and then I was told to stop!                                                                                                                                                                                    I was in to much pain and the doctors had to figure out why, before they would let me work out any more. I was even taken out of work. They were thinking it was a tumor on my spine, cysts on my girlys…. surgery was scheduled. Until the diagnosis came back as  fibromylagia. I was told to eat healthier, and start back to working out, but slowly, at 5 minutes at a time and build up from there. I was also put on meds….. that I ended up being allergic to…. After some time we sorted out the meds, and I went back to my old way of eating… and not working out. I was afraid… the pain hurt…. a lot….. I didn’t want that anymore.                                                                                                                                                                                  Today I don’t want the fear of getting older and doing nothing about it, except buying bigger clothes to be the only thing that stays the same. I’m going back to working out, eating better, taking better care of myself. The pain will still be there….. the fear of the pain too… but hopefully the fear of getting older will be much less…. and I will look much better doing it!! 

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