Paving a New Road’s Weblog
Just another weblog

Missing My Mom….

  • I thought I was doing ok…. I thought I was the strong one… the one who just let things happen… life…. death…. Maybe for me grief takes time to settle in… maybe it’s the holidays…. I’m missing my mom a lot…. who knows, and does it really matter?  
  • My mom… was not your typical mom… (but then again I’d venture to say I’m not either… but in very different ways). She said she never wanted kids, pets, or plants. Thats why she had 4 kids, and more pets and plants than I could count. She knew everything, or at least thought she did…. I learned not to argue with her, just let her win and then go off and figure things out for myself. If momma ain’t happy, ain’t no one happy was sure true in our house. But none of this made her a bad mom…. she was great… speaking only for me…. she gave me enough room for me to have lots of fun.. motivated me in the oddest ways, maybe it was reverse psychology… guided me to do creative things….  
  • She was diagnosed with cancer 20 months before she passed away. Most of the last year she spent in the hospital. Her last Christmas, things were looking up. My daughter and I flew in to town. Our first stop was the hospital… !! That was also our only time to see her that trip. Everyone ended up with the flu. We were not taking a chance on getting her sick so we might as well have been home, we just talked on the phone with her. It was not the same. I want a repeat last Christmas with my mom. I would do so many things different.  
  • It’s not in the presents I would buy, it’s in the time, the way I would let people know I care about them. I’m not a Christmas letter writer, I have not sent a Christmas card since my mom passed away…. maybe it’s time to start again… maybe New Years Cards would be better for me to do….. A renewed spirit type of thing.  
  • I’m also taking a lesson here…. (maybe a little from Tim McGraw too)… Live Like You Were Dyin’… express myself to those I love a bit more in general…..  
  • My mom always said it was good luck when someone gave you a bird to put on your Christmas tree. Once I was old enough to buy ornaments for her, I always bought her bird ornaments, even some lights one year. The first year after she passed away, my daughter and I put birds on the tree that is near her grave.  
  • If anyone has any suggestions for honoring people who have passed away, I’d love to hear them.

3 Responses to “Missing My Mom….”

  1. I’m so sorry for your loss; your mother sounded like a beautiful woman. On Christmas, to honor my husbands grandfather, we set a place at the table for him. Everyone writes one memory on a slip of paper, reads it aloud and puts it on his plate.
    Merry Christmas to you.

  2. these words are a great tribute to your mother.

  3. I’m sorry for your loss. My daddy died suddenly (hadn’t been sick or anything, still quite young). That was 3 years ago. I still miss him.

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