Paving a New Road’s Weblog
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It’s Christmas…. and my spirit just walked out the door

along with my baby girl.
Visitation sucks. If the x can’t be a responsible person, a positive influence in her life, why does he get to have her at all? I know the answers, but that does not mean I have to like them, or even agree with them. My baby (I know she’s not a baby any longer, but she’ll always be my baby….) is now visiting him until the 1st of the year.
We did our celebrating the other day. We’ve never followed the calendar…. Mother’s Day has been on Tuesday….. Easter on Friday…. it’s been about togetherness… ours…. not what the courts say we can do, what our hearts say we can do….. and my heart is always filled with love…. and my love is always with her. 
My pity party will end soon and it will just be another day…. maybe I’ll go for a drive…. I should have volunteered at a soup kitchen or something….  for now I’ll just crawl back into bed since we stayed up most of the night being silly. My memories, and love, will get me through another visit.. until she is back home. 
Santa… if I can still ask for a present…. please keep her safe.. remind her how much she is loved…. and let her have some fun.  

2 Responses to “It’s Christmas…. and my spirit just walked out the door”

  1. Being a father on the other end, thought I’d respond. I’m kinda in the opposite boat, though. I had my two little girls from Friday until yesterday.
    so here I am on Christmas, like you, with the spirit going out the door.
    It’s funny, I didn’t know what to do today so I slept in. I also thought about going to some charity thing, but all that would do for me is make me think about my babies.

    Take care and hope your Christmas gets better. 😦

  2. I understand what you are going through..every time I drop the kids off to spend their required time with their sperm donor…I cry all the way home. We only have to do supervised visitation right now (thank goodness), but I cringe at the thought of him ever having them alone. Sometimes life is not fair, they treat us badly..abuse us (and sometimes our children) and some judge who only hears half the story tells us that we have to trust our own personal satan with our babies. I wish you the merriest of Christmases and know that you are in my thoughts and prayers


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